Commissioning

Looking at a picture of the pot and potter
On this day before commissioning:
This day of enjoying friends and marking time
And observing the community in which I have become a novice.

Why can’t I be still and allow the forming
And trust the process
And let God create the opening
Into my inner being?

Because making a pot, a vessel, involves punching and pulling
And slapping and throwing – long before the shaping of the inner beauty.
And sometimes the potter must scoop up all the waste and brokenness
And pound it into a big heap and begin again.

And so, on the eve of commissioning,
I sit in awe of the process thus far
And tremble in wonder at the formation yet to come.

What are you making of me, O God?
Why did you select this process for me?
For surely your call is not so much to do, or even to serve
As it is to be – or rather, to become.

—  Nancy R. Smith,  (c) June 8, 2001,
the day before being commissioned in the ordained ministry
Jeremiah 18:1-6

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About Nancy Smith

Nancy Smith has 20 years’ experience in technical writing and management in software companies. She also has more than 20 years in Christian ministry as an educator, course designer, retreat leader, spiritual director, pastor, and coach. A United Methodist Deacon, Smith has her M.Div. from Boston University. She is a graduate of the Guild for Spiritual Guidance, and is certified in Spiritual Direction and Retreat Leadership from Boston College.
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