Love Song

I sought God in consolations and I felt comforted.
“But God is not in consolations,” the wise ones said.
“Empty yourself.”

I sought God in emptiness and I felt righteous and sacrificial.
“But God is not in emptiness,” the wise ones said.

“When you desire God you are desiring wrongly,
     for if you do not know the object of your desire,
     how can you pursue your search?
If you do not have God already, how can you recognize God’s Presence?”

God gives the consolations
     but God does not dwell in them.

God fills the emptiness
     but God is not in it. 

I may be filled with delight
     or I may be stripped bare of all thought, desire, and will
     and still not find God.

What then?
Detach even from the desire for God?

I fear the terribleness of the Lord
     and tremble before the jealousy of my Creator!

Your touch, O God, within the depths of my soul
     is as the exquisite touch of a lover in my most private parts.
     It is the “small death.”

I am Your delight.
I exist for Your pleasure.

I am nothing so that You can fill me!
I am Your delight, Your beloved!
I am Your tool to do Your work – but only when I am in Your hand!

You are my fullness,
     my strength,
     my delight,
     my joy,
     my Lover!
You are my life!

 

© 1999

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About Nancy Smith

Nancy Smith has 20 years’ experience in technical writing and management in software companies. She also has more than 20 years in Christian ministry as an educator, course designer, retreat leader, spiritual director, pastor, and coach. A United Methodist Deacon, Smith has her M.Div. from Boston University. She is a graduate of the Guild for Spiritual Guidance, and is certified in Spiritual Direction and Retreat Leadership from Boston College.
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