I sought God in consolations and I felt comforted.
“But God is not in consolations,” the wise ones said.
I sought God in emptiness and I felt righteous and sacrificial.
“But God is not in emptiness,” the wise ones said.
“When you desire God you are desiring wrongly,
for if you do not know the object of your desire,
how can you pursue your search?
If you do not have God already, how can you recognize God’s Presence?”
God gives the consolations
but God does not dwell in them.
God fills the emptiness
but God is not in it.
I may be filled with delight
or I may be stripped bare of all thought, desire, and will
and still not find God.
Detach even from the desire for God?
I fear the terribleness of the Lord
and tremble before the jealousy of my Creator!
Your touch, O God, within the depths of my soul
is as the exquisite touch of a lover in my most private parts.
It is the “small death.”
I am Your delight.
I exist for Your pleasure.
I am nothing so that You can fill me!
I am Your delight, Your beloved!
I am Your tool to do Your work – but only when I am in Your hand!
You are my fullness,
You are my life!